A little gift to myself

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At the beginning of this year I chose 'love' as my word of the year. My life is full of love, so in some ways it felt a silly word to choose. But, I picked it because I wanted to remember love as much as possible, even during the tricky moments and really hard days. Having four little children is both incredibly wonderful and incredibly exhausting. It's easy to think about love during all the wonderful bits but when you've had no sleep for days or are faced with a two year old having a huge meltdown in the middle of the supermarket, it's not always easy to remember love! 

I didn't just choose the word love for my family and friends though, I also chose it for myself and for my work. I have spent the year really thinking about what I love doing and what people love me doing. I have learnt so much and once the Christmas festivities are over I will be spending some time writing about that and sharing it with you. 

Over the past week, however, I've realised that I am getting better at showing myself some love and care too. As always at this time of year I'm trying to do far too much making, baking and decorating, as well as seeing friends and family. Last week I felt like I was going to explode. I wanted to do all the things and I just couldn't. Little Rudi wasn't sleeping well and one night I only had three hours sleep. When you have a mega list of things to do, four young children and you've only had three hours sleep it's not pretty! 

I amazed myself by stopping, looking at my to-do list and moving things to a 'these things would be lovely if I have time' list. I took writing off my to-do list for a whole week. My brain was too fried to write anything that I would really want to share with you anyway! And I just needed a break. I still took my photographs each day and shared things I was doing on Instagram but I gave myself permission to stop writing, as well as taking off some of the Christmas things I planned to do. 

At the end of the week Stef and I had a mini-break 'away' in London and left all four children with our nanny and stayed in a hotel for two nights. We pottered around our city during the day and went to a couple of parties in the evenings. It was just what we both needed, and I'm now feeling refreshed and ready to create a magical Christmas. 

I hope you're managing to find some time for yourself in this busy month. Taking some time out is such a precious gift to give to yourself over the festive season, even if it's just an hour or two. Enjoy! x