A little reminder to myself to...

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Over the past few weeks I have been trying to get my head around not working (or at least not working as much) and concentrating on being a full-time mother. It's definitely what I want to do for the next couple of years or so, and perhaps even until all my children are at school. But I am also aware that I could easily loose myself. 

I can already hear myself saying to friends, "oh I'm just going to be a mum for a while." And feeling that 'just' hanging there and accusing me of being lazy or something. I am sure my friends are thinking "thank goodness she's slowing down a little" and definitely not "gosh how lazy Emily is these days!" But even though I know that I find myself wanting to back it up with a million reasons and excuses about why this is ok. 

I think it's because for the pat few years I've been a mother, a photographer and a PhD student all at the same time with relatively little childcare. It's been busy and insane but also a big achievement. Deciding to stop two thirds of it to concentrate on the one third that means the most to me is definitely the right decision but I now need to learn how to value myself as a mother. No-one is going to hire me, pay me, send me thank-you cards, read my chapters, listen to my conference papers etc. So, I need to make sure I'm ok with that, especially as I have a husband who is out there doing more great stuff.

I also need to remember to do this job with the same enthusiasm, drive, energy and commitment that I've always had for my photography and research. Not always easy but every day I will read this poster on my way downstairs in the morning and remember that whatever I am doing, and however small that sometimes feels, I will really try to be awesome! 

{This poster is available at Etsy }